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| What if I told you (yes, YOU) that we were connected by the soft yarn of life?
What if I told you (yes, YOU) that in our shared brevity of beats, I thanked God that I am alive?
What if I told you (yes, YOU) that I love you, without undermining love's beauty, without abiding by the definition of this world?
What if I told you, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, that
you are you, and you were hand-picked to be born you. | | |
| "Being now resolved to be a poet, I saw every thing with a new purpose; my sphere of attention was suddenly magnified: no kind of knowledge was to be overlooked. I ranged mountains and deserts for images and resemblances, and pictured upon my mind every tree of the forest and flower of the valley. I observed with equal care the crags of the rock and the pinnacles of the palace. Sometimes I wandered along the mazes of the rivulet, and sometimes watched the changes of the summer clouds. To a poet nothing can be useless. Whatever is beautiful, and whatever is dreadful, must be familiar to his imagination: he must be conversant with all that is awfully vast or elegantly little. The plants of the garden, the animals of the wood, the minerals of the earth, and meteors of the sky, must all concur to store his mind with inexhaustible variety: for every idea is useful for the inforcement or decoration of moral or religious truth; and he, who knows most, will have most power of diversifying his scenes, and of gratifying his reader with remote allusions and unexpected instruction."
dorsu.blogspot.com
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| I started crying during the closing of SPOP 1, because I realized that for the first time in my life, I actually felt like all the good that I had done, all the hard work, all the love and care.. didn't come from me, but from God. To be used by God.
That's a prayer that I would usually pray: Please use me, Lord, to help
others. But even with the community service during school and doing
favors for certain people, I always did them all for other reasons: I'm
obligated to do it, I want to make myself better, I'm forced to do
this, etc. But looking back on the past two days of basing all
of my energy, happiness, and spirit on a single smile from an incoming
freshman, sacrificing hangout time with the SPOP staffers just to talk
to an awkward freshman, to find out that she's really not awkward at
all but is a beautiful person inside and out, to be told that they look
up to us so much and actually listen to our advice of how to be a good person..
all of this was not from me. God truly used me. At first I was afraid
to accept it in case it was blasphemous since SPOP obviously isn't tied
to something like the church or anything religious, but I thought of
Jamie and femsex, and realized that this is the same thing. I was put
there to smile and talk to kids who were afraid to be themselves all of
high school, to cheer and scream with kids who had never raised their
voices before, to look them in the eyes and tell them that they are beautiful, and that in college, they are free to be themselves.
My
staffers were amazing, as well. I feel so lucky to have worked with
them and to have gotten to know them better, but it still bothers me so
much when in the end, we're not friends friends. BUT I WANT TO BE! These people are absolutely amazing.
So now, I'm even more charged to be outgoing and to give others a
chance, to actually go out to lunch with friends and to talk to them first. I'm not going to be best friends with every single SPOP staffer, but I'll be damned if I don't make at least one friend friend!!! | | |
| 1. I want to be a good SPOP staffer. I want to inspire the first years to actually look forward to being a college student in UCI. I want to lead by a good example and show people that you can have the time of your life in college without having to party, do drugs, be mean, be slutty, etc. I want others to believe in me so that I can believe in myself more.
2. I want to read. I want to read books and books and books that are all classics so that I can understand how each writer's style makes him who he is. I want to learn through them so that I can learn about myself. I'm an English major, so I'd might as well start acting like one.
3. I want to lose weight. Duh. When the heck have I ever not wanted to lose weight? But I want it to be like last summer, when I lost weight without doing it on purpose. As in, I lost so much weight last year not by going to the gym or dieting, but just keeping myself active through fun and productive activities. I know that it's more important to focus on my inner self, but life really would be easier if I were more comfortable with my outer self.
4. Be a daughter of God. Let God be my bestest best friend again. Wake up and thank Him for my bed, my pillow, my room, the sky, the sun, etc. Go to church and cry every time we worship, not out of guilt or sadness, but out of awe at how great God's love is. Have Bible study every night at Christina Ho's with college group.
5. Be as good to Long as he is to me. It's so unfair how much he does for me, and how little I do for him. I love him so much, so it's time that I start letting my actions be as great as my love is for him.
6. Find a freaking hobby. Photography again? Writing (creative?)? Biking? Swimming? Something. Something something. | | |
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